Day 8 -- 15-Minute Workout at Old Navy

Who says you have to be at a gym, or in front of your TV, balancing on the Wii Fit Board, to get a good workout in?  I beg to differ!  There is a story to this, so let me begin.

Yesterday, I was rumaing through my drawers looking for a pair of jeans to wear.  I have "Going to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffett" jeans, "Standing Room Only" jeans, "PMS" jeans, "Make Him Sweat It" jeans, and my personal favorite... "My Butt Looks Like A Half Moon and Not a Full Moon" jeans.  I also have "Just Another Five Pounds" jeans and "Maybe One Day, but They Were On Sale" jeans.  Girls, I'm sure you can all relate. 

My problem, you ask?  I don't have any jeans that actually fit.  The sucky part about this losing weight thing is that I'm fluctuating between sizes.  Currently I'm in the "18s are way too loose and are falling off" stage.  But 16s don't seem to fit, either!  Some 16s fit perfectly around my butt and thighs, but not so well around the waist.  And I'm sure we've all been guilty of the following:

1. Resolve to get the jeans on.
2. Pull them up as far as you possibly can.
3. Squat, lunge, and practically split to stretch them out just a tad bit more.
4. Finally, lay on the bed, as flat as a plank, suck in that gut, and pull with all your God-given strength to make sure that button meets the hole.

For me, this seems to be my new weekend routine.  My changing body, and weight, have left me with two pairs of jeans, neither of which will last much longer.  Mother Nature clearly has decided to take out her anguish on my thighs, and because of it, I can't seem to run, or walk, more than two steps without creating a bit of friction between them.  As a result, the denims I love most (because they fit!) are starting to get that '80s grunge look -- you know, the jeans that looked like a shredder got ahold of the sides of them.  Yea, well, that's what my jeans are starting to look like, but on the inside.   And while I do spend five days a week in business attire, I still like to have a well-stocked reserve of ass-flattering, thigh-slimming, tummy-flattening Blues. 

After littering our bedroom with every shade of blue I own, Ted and I headed out to Old Navy -- one of four stores who actually make plus-size clothing.  Pair that with the $30 and under selection and I'm there! 

It took me ten minutes to scan the women's section for jeans that might flatter my figure (which, besides being labeled as "fat" would also qualify for hourglass or rotund).  Why is it that flared leg denims aren't in this season?  I don't need skinny jeans to accentuate just how chunky my thighs are!  And I'm pretty sure that no one else wants to see the dimples on my upper left thigh.  I don't need low-rise jeans, either!  Just remember this equation when shopping ladies:

Low-rise jeans + ample badonkadonk = Plumber butt and views only my husband should be priviledged to.

Finally, I came across a few "Classic Rise, Boot-Cut" jeans and grabbed two pairs, in different shades.  What happened next, well... I'm just thankful there was no one tending to the fitting room.

After entering the stall of my choice, I closed the door, took off my coat, and stared at the denims in front of me, deciding who my first victim would be.  Those poor suckers didn't know what was coming.

I should have known, as I slid the darker pair on over my MLS soccer-player calves, that they weren't going to work.  But I was convinced that my Beyonce booty might just squeeze into these 16s.  I managed to pull them all the way up, tucking in the front pockets, and jumping a few times to further slide into them.  But when it came to buttoning those bad boys... it just did not happen. 

After a few moments of "Uggghhh..." and mentally coaching myself to suck it in, I abandoned my first choice.  Getting them off was almost as hard as getting them on!  It probably didn't help I still had my shoes on.  :-\  These blues were painted on, and peeling them off was almost as difficult as peeling bubble gum off a sidewalk.  As I struggled to get the last bit of my right leg free, using both hands to pull, I started to tip, and quickly.  Before I knew it, my backside met the back of the stall door, making a loud clang as it slammed shut.  Next time, I'll be sure to double-check that it's closed completely.

The second pair of jeans went off much like the first, despite my optimism that they would be my new go-to pants.  No such luck.  After more sucking, pulling, squatting, and thudding against that door, I was pooped.  I was visibly sweating and afraid to face the crowd I feared was gathering outside.  But after re-dressing myself (and wiping my brow), I exited the dressing room to find my husband, relaxed and seated at the kiddie table, waiting for me to give the thumbs up.  Again, no such luck.

I left with one pair of 16s jeans.  Currently, they fall in between the "Standing Room Only" and "Another Five Pounds" categories.  And as aggravated as I could have been yesterday (and was, temporarily), I have to try and remember that size 16 jeans haven't always been possible.  So the fact that I can even get one pair pulled up and zipped (even if I have to wear a baggy sweatshirt to cover my rolls of squishy not-so-goodness) is an accomplishment.  And that, my friends, is what will motivate me this week.

The jeans I bought are hanging in my closet, on display for me to see each morning when I'm choosing my work attire, and each evening when I'm putting my shoes away.  Those puppies will remain there, as a reminder to me of why I'm doing this.  And hopefully, they'll deter me from choosing donuts over Cheerios, pizza over salad. 

So... what's keeping you motivated this week?  Or please, by all means, feel free to share your own jeans story -- I know I'm not the only one.  C'mon guys -- don't leave me hanging out there alone on the cloud of embarrassment I just created! 

Nicole's Daily Menu
Multigrain Cheerios with 1% milk
Laughing Cow Spreadable French Onion Cheese with Multigrain Tostito's
Honey ham on 100% whole wheat with mayo
Cheese stick
Quesadillas with Perdue cooked grilled chicken strips and salsa (no sour cream)
You guessed it -- ice cream. 


wesnshan said...

Nicole...I have put off buying jeans. I have had the same clothes for a very long time and I have been in desperate need of some appropriate clothes. My Valentine's gift this year was two pair of jeans and two shirts. I got to pick what I wanted and I was just pumped from being on QVC and buying my workout of Jillian Michaels and a new cookbook. So, thinking that I could start to get a bit of self Well, I knew my size but had no idea all the different jeans that are out. I am short so petite is what I need. I figured that average would work for me also and boot-cut and flare...well I never think to look at that because on the racks at walmart in the plus sized you don't have a lot to choose from. The Just my size jeans are awesome and comfy and also very trendy which I haven't had the chance to experience in a long time. I have a boot-cut and a flare and they are a little too long.

My hubby is always telling me he likes to see me in jeans but I have gotten so comfortable in the stretchy pants that give that this wearing jeans is kind of hard to get used to. You definately are more aware of what you eat and how much. Especially if they fit...there's not a lot of give room and wow they can get uncomfortable quick.

I love your posts and am going to look forward to reading them!


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