Day 11 -- A Sign From God

Today, thankfully, was not a repeat of yesterday.  I'm proud to say that I was put in the exact situation I was in yesterday, and I passed :-). 

A co-worker and friend of mine is leaving the firm I work at.  So, today, ten of us took her to a goodbye lunch at, you guessed it, Gregg's -- the burger-taunting Hell I visited yesterday.  But no burgers for me today!  Instead, I went with the grilled chicken club on multigrain bread, no mayo, no bacon, with a side of steamed broccoli instead of fries.  Now I'm sure a bunch of you could make the argument that it's still a sandwich loaded with bread, and probably not the best option.  And you'd be absolutely correct.  However, no matter how much I want to be, I just can't seem to shove myself into that salad-stuffing, veggie-loving mold everyone else seems to be so comfortable living in.  Despite my weight-loss goals, I still lean toward comfort food and sandwiches are still my go-to meal for lunch.  So I'm glad I made a healthier choice today, even though it might not have been the ideal one.

And I have to be honest, that lunch was a personal Hell today.  Everyone around me, and  I do mean everyone, ordered burgers, clubs, and buffalo chicken wraps.  One of my co-workers even stated that she didn't do healthy food. God, I wish I could say the same!  But the main reason I ordered what I did?  Let's put it this way...  I was born and raised a Portuguese Catholic.  I know what guilt feels like -- my grandmother used it against me often.  And boy did it work!  She was able to steer half of my childhood decisions by instilling the fear of Catholic guilt in me!

So today, when I was faced with another choice, another decision to make, that old, familiar feeling, that churning in my stomach came back.  And that's when I knew the guilt was coming.  I could have easily said "Who cares?!  I want another burger!"  But that would mean disappointing all of you, and more importantly myself.  So as twisted as it might seem, I chose healthy because I was afraid of feeling the guilt afterward.  And I don't particularly care if that's what led me to making the right decision today.  Because all that matters is that I did.  Maybe for now, that lovely Catholic, Grandma-staring-death-glares guilt is all I need to keep me from falling off the wagon, yet again. 

I know someday I'll get to a point where I don't need this group to convince me to make a better decision.  But if the guilt that comes with disappointing all of you is keeping me in check right now, well, then I guess I'll take it.  Quick thank you to God for blessing all of your Catholic followers with the famed Catholic guilt.  For once in my life, I'm actually appreciating it. 

PS -- Long story, but tonight I ended up accidentally topping my ice cream with Dawn Dishwashing Soap.  And then I proceeded to eat it.  I'm taking that as a sign from God that I should lay off the ice cream. :-\  So, wish me luck as I try to go the next week without ice cream.  That's this week's "Try Something New."  Pray for me.  I don't think I've ever done this before, and it's going to totally throw my evening routine off its axis.  This should definitely be interesting.  I wonder, should I warn my husband that severe mood swings, shakes, fever, and random outbursts of violence are all to be expected during withdrawal????

Nicole's Daily Menu
Multigrain Cheerios with 1% milk
Chewy Granola Bar
Laughing Cow Spreadable French Onion Cheese with Thin Crisp Triscuits
Grilled chicken club on multigrain bread, no mayo, no bacon, with side of steamed broccoli
Scromlette (as Ted referred to my failed omellette): eggs with 1 piece of ham, shredded cheese, and diced red peppers, 1 piece of wheat toast with little butter
*Eggs are a great go-to meal.  I didn't get home until 8:30 tonight, so I didn't feel like making something huge.  Eggs are quick, easy, and full of protein.
Dawn-covered Ice Cream. 


shellhaydock said...

Aaaah, the Portuguese-Catholic guilt. I know it well :) Hang in there. You're doing great. Your lunch choice was fine. Nothing wrong with eating bread. Everything in moderation!

Rachel said...

I heard about a product called "Sandwich Thins" on another blog I follow:

They're interesting for sandwiches; I got some and tried it and it's pretty good. They're not as big as a slice of bread, but not as thick as a hamburger bun or bagel.

Maybe that will help you with your bread conundrum!

PrincessScrappy-Do said...

I found your blog over on Bob Harpers and have centered you in the middle of my toolbar so that I can watch your progress EVERY day.

I have lost the same 100 pounds, 100 times, but do I look thin??? Why NO!!!. Anyway, what I would like to say is that you are now my encouragement and to put a bit of responsibility on you, if you gain, I'll gain, I'f you lose, I'll lose. (no pressure huh)

Was trying to make this short but it isnt working out that way. I belong to a group called TOPS (take off pounds sensibility), they have been around long before WW and all the others. Its an encouragement group and someone to be accountable to, but I havent had much success so I am relying on you now. HELP!!

rachel said...

What flavor dish soap was it? Would you bring some to me when you get back to work? Yum yum yum Nicole =)

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